Crime-Fighting Services

Date: 2018-02-15
Reply to: Batman

If you're looking for crime-fighting services in your area, look no further... than this ad... for crime-fighting services... in your area.

I’m Batman. You may have heard of me because of my brief stint on the Batchelorette.

I am a full-time crime fighter with a degree in catching bad guys doing bad guy things... or bad girls... doing bad girl things. It's usually guys though, tbh.

If you are worried about crime in your area (you should be), hire me, Batman, to catch the criminals before they strike. I may not have gotten the final rose, but I sure do know how to keep it from getting stolen.

My rate is $20 an hour OBO. Wanna contact me? Shine a bat signal. Don’t have one? Tough shit, kid.

Batman out.✌